You helped once. Now it’s your job.

Two resources worth bookmarking before we start:

I’ve watched a simple favor become part of someone’s job without anyone ever deciding it should be. A colleague leaves, and you cover one piece of their work for a few weeks. A project falls behind, and you pick up a task because you know how to get it moving. At the time, it makes sense. I’ve never believed people should hide behind a job description every time a team needs help. The problem comes later.

The version that stays with me involved a finance analyst who took over the monthly reporting pack when the person in charge left. The plan was “just until we hire.” Four months in, I sat in a management meeting where someone said, “She’ll have the numbers; she always does.” Nobody looked at her. Nobody looked at me. The favor had become her job in front of twelve people, and not one of us had ever told her.

A month passes, and that temporary task is still sitting in your week. People start coming directly to you because you handled it last time. Before long, the question has changed from whether you can help to when you’ll have it finished. Nobody sat down and formally changed your role. The work just stayed long enough for everyone around you to start treating it as yours.

I’ve seen top performers go along with this for months because each request looks reasonable at the time. They never agreed to a bigger job in a single conversation. So they kept helping and became the obvious person to ask.

For some introverts I’ve worked with, the difficult part comes after the pattern is already established. They’re perfectly capable of pushing back. They just don’t want every request to turn into a negotiation. If the work needs doing and they can do it, it feels easier to get on with it.

The dependable people I’ve had this conversation with rarely wanted to get rid of the work. What they wanted was simpler and harder to ask for. They wanted to know whether the work was theirs, to have it count for something if it was, and to keep being seen as dependable while they asked. After a while, though, the team is relying on work that has never been properly discussed.

The research offers insight into something I’ve noticed for years. A systematic review of compulsory citizenship behavior analyzed 53 studies of extra-role work that no longer feels voluntary. Two findings caught my attention. This behavior was strongly linked to burnout and moderately linked to the intention to leave. People who reported it also felt more trusted.

The authors call these correlations, and I agree. Still, the pattern matches my earlier point. Being the go-to person has more to do with this than being overlooked. I’ve seen it happen without a bad manager or any intentional exploitation. A reliable person solves a problem, and the team starts depending on them.

People often don’t reconsider this setup because nothing seems broken. Managers should focus here. If I rely on someone week after week for tasks outside their role, I have to see that the job has changed. I can’t keep calling the work temporary while planning around it as if the person will do it forever.

A more recent study by Junyoung Hong and Steve Jex examined what researchers call citizenship pressure. Demands from supervisors and coworkers added to that pressure. In turn, the pressure was linked to both more extra-role contributions and more withdrawal. In their daily diary study, people high in agreeableness felt their supervisor’s requests more intensely day by day.

Agreeableness and introversion are different traits, and I wouldn’t confuse them. Still, I see that for some people, saying yes feels easier than negotiating. That makes sense to me. I’ve watched people keep delivering while growing less satisfied with the expectation. From a manager’s view, everything may seem fine because the work keeps coming. By the time someone mentions an issue, the arrangement may already feel normal to everyone else.

I wouldn’t start with, “That’s not in my job description.” Even if it’s true, it shifts the focus to the document instead of the work. It also puts your reputation as someone who helps at risk.

Instead, say, “I’ve covered X regularly for the last few months. Are we considering this part of my role moving forward?” Then wait for your manager’s response. If the responsibility stays, follow up with, “Okay. Can we discuss what needs to shift from my current workload and how this new duty is reflected in my role?”

This is a fair conversation. The organization already benefits from the work. You’re asking them to decide whether the arrangement should continue. If the task was meant to be temporary, agree on what happens next and when your cover ends. This is where self management skills come in. Before the chat, review the past month to see how often the extra duty came up and what it displaced.

You don’t need an elaborate case. A few specific examples are enough to keep the discussion from drifting into vague impressions about your workload.

I’ve been on the management side too. When the same person is asked again and again because they’re reliable, I need to notice when that reliability is filling a capacity gap. Two habits help me catch it sooner. When I ask someone to cover, I state the end date: “Can you take this until the new hire starts in March?” When March passes, that’s my cue to revisit it, not theirs. Twice a year, I ask each person one question: “What are you doing now that wasn’t part of your job when you started?” The answers are rarely what I expect.

Once the extra work is acknowledged, I owe the person a decision, and there are only three honest options. Make it official, with the scope, title, or pay that goes with it. Make it part of their development, stating what they’re learning, their authority, and where it leads. Or remove it. Sometimes extra responsibility is just what someone needs to grow. If there’s no development case behind the extra work and I can’t make it official, it shouldn’t stay with them.

Look at the work you do now that wasn’t part of your normal week six months ago. Identify one recurring responsibility that began as temporary help. When did anyone last discuss whether you should still own it?

If you haven’t already, mention it in your next one-on-one. You could say, “I’ve noticed I’m often responsible for X. Can we clarify if this is still temporary or part of my role going forward?” You’re making the workload visible so someone can decide. Decide in advance which answer you prefer. If you want the work, say so and ask how it fits into your role. If you don’t, say when you want your cover to end.

If you manage people, turn the question around. Think about the person you rely on because they get things done. Compare what you’re asking of them now with their original role. If the difference is significant, I’d rather have that conversation before they feel the need to force it. Then choose one of the three decisions above and communicate it clearly.

If you volunteer easily, the same problem can occur. You say yes in a meeting, solve the issue, and become the go-to person the next time something similar comes up. Being visible doesn’t protect you from becoming the default. Notice when volunteering starts to feel like ownership.

If you want the responsibility, ask what it means for your role. If you don’t, be clear about where your temporary help ends.

You can also help a colleague who takes on extra work quietly. If someone in a meeting says, “She’ll have the numbers; she always does,” you can swap that for, “Hasn’t she been covering that since spring? Should we make it official or move it?” You’ve just brought to light what she’s been managing in silence, without making a fuss about it.

If you’re managing someone who often volunteers, don’t assume their eagerness reflects their capacity.

I’d use this before a conversation about work that has gradually become part of your role.

Remove names, confidential information and sensitive company details first, and only use a work-approved AI tool.

Due to overwhelming demand, I’m increasing the number of free testers for The Unforgettable System from 10 to 50.

This edition is about work that gets done but never gets discussed. The Unforgettable System is how I help people change that. It has 16 lessons, and each one takes you through a step I’d work on with you if we were sitting down together. You bring your real situation, like the task you’ve covered since spring or the manager who hasn’t noticed yet. It helps you decide what to say and who needs to see your work.

Testers get the full course for free before it goes on sale. In return, I’ll just ask for your feedback.

Find one task that began as a favor and has become routine. In your next one-on-one, ask, “Are we treating this as part of my role moving forward?” Then leave enough room for a real answer. If it’s staying, ask what changes will come with it.

If you manage people, look at the last favor you asked for. If you never gave an end date, go back this week and set one, or say clearly that it’s now part of the role.

The role where you execute everything and decide nothing

Being trusted with delivery doesn’t always mean you’re being developed to make judgment calls.

I’ve seen this pattern often enough that I now notice when the same person keeps picking up loose ends. At first, it often looks harmless. Someone helps because the team needs it, and the work gets done. Months later, the business may rely on that person for something nobody has discussed with them.

Employees should raise the issue when they see the pattern. Managers should notice it too, and they can provide an end date, a title, or a reason.

If I keep relying on someone for their dependability, we should talk about their job before they hit the roof. Being the person everyone depends on should matter.

In your corner,
— Steven

P.S. Forward this to the colleague who always says yes. They’ve probably been covering something since spring.

P.P.S. Who really knows what you carry at work? My free five-day email course, Be Seen, shows you how to get your work in front of the people who decide.