Set Boundaries at Work Without Damaging Relationships

Before we dive in, two resources worth bookmarking:

A few years ago, one of my colleagues asked me if I could "quickly review" a presentation deck.

It was 4:30 PM on a Friday. I had dinner plans. I said yes anyway, because I thought that's what "team players" do.

The quick review turned into a two-hour rewrite. My dinner plans disappeared. The worst part was that my colleague now expected this level of last-minute availability every time.

I'd accidentally taught them that my boundaries didn't exist.

I spent the next few months quietly resenting every Friday afternoon request. Every "just five minutes" became an hour. Every assumption that my time was infinitely available. The work itself may have seemed reasonable, but I'd never been clear about what I could actually give.

Setting boundaries felt like being difficult. That saying "no" made me look uncommitted. That protecting my time meant I wasn't a team player. So I kept saying yes, and kept stretching myself thinner.

It took me a while to learn that boundaries support mental well-being by helping prioritise self-care, which ultimately increases productivity too. Research on setting boundaries without guilt found something that really spoke to me: the first time you bend your boundary, you've taught others that your "no" is negotiable.

The cost of not setting boundaries transcends exhaustion. It quickly becomes resentment, weaker work, and relationships built on expectations you can't sustain.

Our default is to think that boundaries damage relationships. But I can tell you that the absence of boundaries does far more harm.

When you say yes to everything, people don't respect you more. You've shown them you don't respect your own time or capacity. They never know when you're genuinely available or just saying yes out of guilt. This is where self management becomes essential, not as corporate jargon, but as a practical skill that determines whether your relationships at work are sustainable or slowly eroding.

We've been taught to believe that boundaries are walls that keep people out. I now know they're the opposite. They're the framework that makes relationships sustainable.

Studies on boundaries and trust show that clear expectations make workplace relationships feel safer and more respectful. Work on protecting focus without burning bridges emphasises that boundaries are filters that keep you from leaking energy everywhere.

When I finally started setting boundaries, something changed. My colleagues thought I was reliable. Because when I said yes, they knew I meant it. When I said no, they trusted I had a good reason.

Research backs this up. Employees with clear boundaries report 20% higher productivity scores than those who work after hours. Studies on leaders modelling healthy boundaries found that when leaders protect their own time, they give their teams permission to do the same.

This is leading by example in its most practical form, not through grand gestures, but through the small, consistent choices that show your team what sustainable work looks like.

I've used the following scripts word-for-word. I've also coached many others in using them, and they work because they're clear, respectful, and non-negotiable.

"I'm at capacity right now. I can help with this next Tuesday, or we can discuss reprioritising my current workload. Which would work better?"

I like this one because it acknowledges their need without abandoning yours. You're not saying no, you're saying "not right now" and offering alternatives.

"I protect my weekends for personal recharge, which helps me bring my best energy to work during the week. Unless this is truly urgent, I'll address it on Monday."

The key is the phrase "personal recharge." Not "time off" or "relaxation." Recharge. It frames the weekend as essential to your professional performance.

"I have a hard stop at [time]. If we need more time, let's schedule a follow-up rather than rush through this."
I say this at the beginning of every meeting now. Visual signals like calendar blocks

marked as "Deep Work" communicate availability without having to explain yourself repeatedly.

"I check messages once at 8 PM for emergencies only. Non-urgent items, I'll deal with them on the next business day."

The first time I set this boundary, I was terrified. Now it's the norm. Many professionals find success with specific times for email processing rather than responding all day.

"I'm in the middle of something critical right now. Can we connect at 2 PM instead?"

Notice the specificity. Not "later." 2 PM. If you establish "no interruptions" time but regularly make exceptions, colleagues will keep testing your boundaries.

"We've discussed this before. I need [boundary] to be respected. What needs to happen for that to work?"

This one feels uncomfortable to say, but it's necessary. Boundaries without consequences become suggestions rather than boundaries.

"I'm managing three major projects right now. If this becomes a priority, which of my current projects should I deprioritise or hand off?"

This forces a conversation about trade-offs, which people usually want to avoid.

"I usually reserve Friday afternoons for wrapping up my week. I'd be happy to help if we can connect earlier in the week. Does Tuesday work?"

This script saved my Fridays. This approach sets a clear boundary while maintaining a positive relationship.

I'll be honest with you. Like so many of us, I've felt behind on this whole AI thing.

The tools keep multiplying. The jargon keeps changing. And honestly? It's been exhausting trying to keep up whilst also doing, you know, actual work.

Then a colleague shared something with me that changed my approach. It's called the 4-part prompt framework, based on guidance from Greg Brockman, President of OpenAI. Simple enough that anyone can use it. No technical background required.

Here's the structure:
Context: Give the AI background on who you are and what you're working on.
Task: Tell it exactly what you need it to do.
Format: Specify how you want the output (bullet points, paragraph, table, etc.).
Constraints: Set the boundaries (word count, tone, what to avoid).

I've started using this for everything from drafting emails to preparing meeting agendas. The difference in output quality is night and day. Before, I'd get generic responses that needed heavy editing. Now, I get something useful in the first go.

Here's what I've decided: every week, I'm going to share a prompt I use, something practical that helps me work smarter without adding to the overwhelm.

Consider it a quiet introvert's guide to AI. No hype, no jargon. Just tools that help.

This week, practise one boundary script:

Why I stopped optimising my morning routine.

The counterintuitive reason why rigid routines might be keeping you exhausted.

The first time I used these scripts, I was convinced I'd have to explain myself, justify my boundaries, and prove I deserved them.

What I eventually found was that the responses became more like "That makes sense. Let's schedule it for next week." The pattern is almost always the same. The fear of setting the boundary is ten times worse than the actual conversation.

The relationships I've built since are stronger because they're built on honesty. On what I can actually sustain, not what I think I should be able to handle. Setting boundaries makes you someone people can count on. When you say yes, they know you have the capacity to deliver. When you say no, they know you're protecting the quality of everything else you've committed to.

So what does self management actually mean in practice? It means knowing your limits before you hit them, communicating those limits clearly, and holding firm even when the pressure mounts. It's not about being rigid. It's about being reliable.

Give the scripts a try and let me know how you get on.

In your corner,
— Steven

P.S. If you found this useful, forward it to a colleague who could use a few boundary scripts.

P.P.S. Networking doesn’t have to feel like a performance. Download the FREE Networking Scripts for Introverts with phrases that help you start conversations, follow up naturally, and build connections without draining your energy.